| Location | Leicester |
| Age | 27 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 04/06/1981 |
| Date of Death | 15/12/2008 |
| Visitors | 7,546 since 28/12/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
****MAY I TAKE THIS CHANCE TO THANK YOU FOR LIGHTING CANDLES FOR MY BROTHER JOE*****♥
**♥**As you can see, I have changed Joe's name. He changed his surname by deed poll a few years
ago, but he reverted back to Benyon when it mattered. His suicide card was signed Joe benyon which
was very significant. I believe he wanted to be Benyon as he died, so am honouring this!**♥**
Joe, you are my big brother, my only sibling, and that will never change...nothing can ease the pain
I feel at losing you and bring you back, or change the way I feel...I feel so much guilt, so much
regret, and a barrage of what ifs and if onlys hit my already tortured mind. We grew up with only a
year between us, and I like to think stayed close. I know your mental conditions sometimes made it
difficult to open up or get close to people, but we had our good times didn't we? so many good
times. On 12 december 2008 you took me to Sheffield to see slipknot. your fave! you paid for the
ticket, we had dinner out beforehand...it was so lovely, as in the weeks beforehand you had been so
doped up on meds it was sometimes difficult to communicate. Then suddenly, after weeks of not
leaving the house, you found the inner strength to go out that night. I now know why. It was to give
me a lasting happy memory wasn't it? you filmed the whole thing to make sure i had it all on tape.
And on the 15th December, you took your own life.
The letter you left tried to show us why. And after years of watching you struggle, and that candle
of hope start to fade in your eyes, we knew why. "no more hurt no more pain". But that didn't make
it any easier. Why that night? why didn't I come round that weekend after the concert? why didn't i
do more after you told me you wouldn't be around for xmas, instead i brushed over it? Did it hurt?
Did you regret it halfway? Did you know how much we loved you, how much you meant. Maybe we should
have shown it more, but we tried...I would come up to your room and give you a hug even when you
were out of it on meds, invite you round to mine, remember that night when we watched the remake of
halloween which was awful, then ate pizza and played the wii? why didn't you ever come again after
that one night, I kept asking you. remember download? that is when you were at your happiest i
think, and we got three days together, even shared a tent!
Why did you think the world hated you? why did you think you weren't good enough? Why did you think
you wree freeing us from the burden of your illness. But mostly, I know...you were sick and tired of
your illness and your troubles.
I love you Joe, my brother, and always will, I will never let you be forgotten and my heart breaks
for the loss of you.
Below is part of the eulogy dad wrote on your order of service. I hope you were listening to the
tribute I gave? 6 minutes talking about my wonderful memories of you, the whole time standing
infront of your coffin. How did I manage that? You gave me strength and you will continue to do so.
We have many happy memories of Joe – visits to Hallaton to see cousins Luc and Holly, trips to
grandparents in Southampton and Weston, walks in the countryside, the New Forest and Swithland
Woods.
We remember holidays in Cornwall, Snowdonia and Dorset, and in Italy, Corfu and other Greek islands,
often with the Llewellyn family. We have lovely memories of Joe on our visits to Australia and
America, and to Coleen’s brother’s family in Vancouver.
Joe was a highly sensitive person and worried a lot and he tried to overcome his inhibitions. A
strong family memory is of Joe, aged 6, singing ‘Once in Royal David’s City’ on his own in
front of Avenue School. Later, as a teenager he fearlessly skied down the daunting black run in
Andorra. We also remember the enjoyment he got over several years playing for the famous Clarendon
Park Rangers FC.
His anxiety and related depression seemed to get worse as Joe grew older. He battled to overcome
these handicaps, although it proved very difficult to get any effective help. He found solace and
support in his growing Christian faith and was baptised in 2008. However, his illness kept pulling
him down. In his own words, Joe longed for ‘no more hurt, no more pain’.
We have been moved and comforted by all the messages about Joe. He has been described as a lovable
and loving young man – witty and warm, smart and kind, sensitive, caring and vulnerable, funny,
intelligent and generous. Some have written of his courage, others of how he helped them.
One friend described Joe as having a ‘heart of gold’, another said he was ‘one in a
million’. Another wrote: ‘Joe was like the sun above dark clouds, but often hidden. Then
there’d be a glimpse of that sun and it made you smile and feel warm’.
We will remember Joe as a young man who touched many other people in all sorts of positive ways. He
has gone much too soon, but we will treasure our happy memories of him throughout our lives.
Joe – after your long struggle you are now at peace in a better place and you will live on in our
hearts and memories.
Joe had been let down by the mental health system over and over again for years. we couldn't get him
the help he desperately needed. and to cope with his social anxiety disorders, he self medicated to
a point of zombie-ness. Eventually, life got too much to bear and he ordered his pills from egypt
and at some point in the early hours of the 15 december 2008 he took them. We do not know what
happened next, how long it took, whether he was in pain...mum found him the next afternoon. I will
never for my whole life long forget receiving that phone call from her at 3pm on the Monday...the
moment my life changed forever.
my poem for you:
My brother I have such memories of our shared years
The time we spent together means so much to me
And when I think of you and shed those tears
I try to think of you happy now, and finally free
You spent many a time in trouble and many a time in pain
Spent much time on your own in your room
I know how much you loved us, your letter tells us time and time again
But your love for us, and ours for you, could not free you from your doom
We must realise how difficult your life was, no peace or solitude
How tortured your young mind, how hard your life
When you were angry, mad and sometimes rude
That was your anxious mind twisting the knife.
Joe, you are happy now, no more hurt and no more pain
And the time has come for us to stop blaming ourselves
I look inside myself for evidence that you are near
And the knowledge that you guide me from above stems my fear
When you left I felt grief, then an aching emptiness
As I tried to get my head around never seeing you again
I didn’t know how I would go on, I must confess
Now I finally understood your hurting and your pain
The years stretch on before me, so bleak and dark and long,
I pray you walk beside me, brother, and help to keep me strong.
If I had known the last time I saw you would be then
I would have held you close and never let you go again
Would have told you how much I love you and how much you mean to me
Would have sat you down and tried to make you see
But now I have to settle for telling you now instead
How thoughts of you will never leave my head
You were my brother for 26 years, 2 months and 20 days
But more importantly you will continue to be my brother
As I get older, so will you, and you will live on in my heart for the rest of my days
I love you Joe, forever more, a love like no other.
Until my time on this earth ends and we are reunited together once more
I shall look for you in the wind, the stars, the setting of the sun
I smile as I think of you behind heaven’s door
Watching over me brother as you have always done.
The songs playing are
- Hurt by Johnny Cash, chosen by Joe for his funeral as it reflects the feelings he felt for so
long
- Danny Boy, which was played as the coffin was carried in
- Abide With Me, the hym Joe chose.
- It Gets Better, by Jo Dee Messina (also chosen by Joe for funeral)
- Sleep Well My brother, by Saga (also chosen by Joe)
Joe was:
Son to John Benyon and Coleen Ramsey
Brother to me (Danielle)
Brother in law to Mike
Nephew, cousin, grandson, friend. xxxxxx
9TH OCTOBER 2009
♥
JUST WANTED TO SEND YOU..............
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..|^^|.....................LOVE.................|^^|
..|^^|.................................................|^^|
..|^^|.....................♥♥♥♥..................|^^|
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........._______________________
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FROM JUDE. X X
♥
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
I'm thinking of those golden days,
When you still walked by me...
And shared yet still this life on Earth
Which was not long to be.
The flowers upon this lonely world
Were still fragrant in the light...
The sun still shone, the stars still glowed
And peaceful was each night.
And still between the darkness
And the dawn of each new day
There is still that moment when
The sorrow's held at bay
And for a single moment
I feel you walk with me
Sharing still my dreams on Earth
Where always you will be.
Author Unknown
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
7TH OCTOBER 2009
♥
♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ღ ♥ ღ ♥
♥☆♥☆♥We WiLl MiSs YoU fOrEvEr. X☆♥☆♥
♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ღ ♥ ღ ♥
♥
TO THOSE WHO I LOVED
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
I leave myself to your memory, with love
I leave my thought, my laughter, my dreams
to you whom I have treasured.
I give you what no thief can steal,
the memories of our times together:
the tender moments,
the successes we have shared,
the hard times that brought us close together and
the road we have walked side by side.
I also leave you a solemn promise
that after I am home in the arms of God,
I will still be present,
whenever and wherever you call on me.
Whenever you are in need, call me;
I will come to you, to be your avenue to God.
And all I take with me as I leave is your love
and the millions of memories of all that we have shared.
So I truly enter my new life as a millionaire.
Fear not nor grieve at my departure,
you whom I have loved so much, for my roots
and yours are forever intertwined.
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
I SHALL REMEMBER YOU
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
I shall remember you for as long
as there are fields of snow
and there are flowers in the ground
with strength to grow.
As long as there are stars above
and moonbeams on the sea,
and just as long as there are songs
of love and memory.
I shall remember you today
and dreams of you tonight,
and look for you tomorrow when
the sun begins to light.
Whatever season, month or year,
this much will be the same,
the only sound of joy will be,
the mention of your name.
I shall remember you for as long
As there are earth and sky.
And all eternity
may take to say good bye.
James Metcalfe
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
TO THOSE WE LOVE
♥
Since we parted, you have been sharing so much of us with those around you. The memories are so fresh and real. You hold on to us so tightly in your hearts - where we shall always be
Your concern has always been for us, but we wonder how you are doing. You will never know all of the prayers that have been prayed for you, the tears that have been shed over your grief and the concern that has been shown for you in a multitude of ways, but we find it so comforting to know you haven't been left alone.
Please know that we are not alone, either. The death that hurt you the most has given me the gift of eternal life. God's promises have been fulfilled in us. When we left you, God was there, waiting, just as He promised. We're surrounded by perfect love. Never let anyone tell you God doesn't exist. If you need to be mad at Him for awhile, that's okay; He can handle it. But never let hate, anger or bitterness fuel you emotions. Talk to Him and let him talk to you. Listen for Him in the voices of the people who love and care about you, and let His Word reassure you that we are doing just fine.
It is comforting to know that you hold us so close while struggling with the prospect of letting us go. You need to know that we will always be together. Eternity is not 'out there,' eternity is now! We have simply moved a little farther ahead of you.
Remember that God never wastes anything - especially love. The love that we shared on earth will be even greater in Heaven. For now, you must rest assured that we are safe in God's perfect love. We would like you to take some of the love you have for us and share it with those around you. You can never run out of love - the more you give away, the more you will have. And let others love you . you are worth loving.
Life is forever. Ours has changed in the twinkling of an eye while yours is changing day-by-day and minute-by-minute. Though your lives will never be the same, that does not mean that they cannot be filled with peace, joy and love. Always look to the future. Don't be afraid of tomorrow - God's already there. Be patient with yourselves. You will make some mistakes, and you will even find yourselves not thinking about 'us' from time to time. That's all right too. All of our needs are being met; you need to take care of you. Hold onto one another, help each other, give hope and love to all you meet.
Above all, be prepared to welcome others into your world of grief and mourning. You are being taught valuable lessons that will need to be passed along. Some will not have your strength, many will not have your faith, and most will feel they are all alone; but all will need the love and understanding only you will be able to give. Now, your pain is the only credential you need to minister to others. When you think of us, never think of us as being alone. Think of us smiling, laughing and enjoying all that god has prepared for us.
Finally, never believe you are alone. Do not focus on what you have lost, but look always at what you have left. You are surrounded by people who love you and care about you. Live with them, love with them, share with them and laugh with them. Make every day a celebration of life - a life that will never end. We will meet again, and until we do, know that we are very proud of you for never giving up.
We love you!
FROM YOUR LOVED ONES IN HEAVEN
Author Unknown
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
We just want to say how much we love you and always will we miss you so much we know you are a star in heaven but you were also a star on earth,always shining and glowing with beauty.No one lit up the world quite like you did.You were everyone's ray of sunshine and we know you will be shining down on us forever.
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
" I AM IN THE LIGHT "
A shadow of joy flickered; it is me.
I told you I wouldn't leave you
My spirit is with you
My memories, my thoughts
are imbedded deep in your heart.
I still love you.
Do not for one moment think
that you have been abandoned.
I am in the light
In the corner, in the hall, the car,
the yard-these are the places I stay with you.
My spirit rises every time you pray for me,
but my energy comes closer to you.
Love does not diminish, it grows stronger
I am the feather that finds you in the yard,
the dimmed light that grows brighter in your mind
I place our memories for you to see
We lived in our special way, a way that now has its focus changed
I still crave your understanding and long for the
many words of prayer and good fortune for my soul.
I am in the light.
As you struggle to adjust without me,
I watch you silently
Sometimes I summon up all the strength
of my new world to make you notice me
Impressed by your grief,
I try to impress my love deeper into your consciousness
As you should, I call out to the Heavens for help
You should know that the fountain of youth does exist
My soul is now healthy.
Your love sends me new found energy
I am adjusting to this new world.
I am with you and I am in the light
Please don't feel bad that you can't see me.
I am with you whereever you go
I protect you, just as you protected me so many times
Talk to me and some how I will find a way to answer you
When you feel despair, reach out to me. I will come
My love for you, truly does transcend
from Heaven to Earth
Finish your life with the enthusiasm
and zest you had when we were
together in the physical sense.
You owe this to me,
but more importantly you owe it to yourself
Life continues for both of us
I am with you because I love you and I am in the Light.
Author Unknown
WRITE MY NAME
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
Write my name in the clouds
when you reach heavens gate
Tell the angels all about me and
how we used to be
Never forget I love you so and will
hold you in my heart forever.
One day we will meet again
high up in the heavens
Write my name in the clouds to show me
you made it home.
Where gods love will surround you
And the angels surround his thrown
Write my name in the clouds
as a sign from you to me and
never forget even in heaven how
much you mean to me!!!!!!!!!!!!
with love today,tomorrow and always.
Lese Copyright © 2005
♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥ ☆ ♥ ♥ ☆ ♥
Don't cry I'm only sleeping
Don't think that I'm not there
I can see you as you cry
As i sit on my rainbow stairs
God told me that he needed me
And he only takes the best
And i love it here on my rainbow
I can now enjoy the rest
I watch you when you sleep
And i am there every day
Cant you feel me? i am here
And it will always be this way
I want to see you laughing
And i want to see you move on
I know you loved me dearly
Remember I'm here, I'm not gone.xxx
![](http://www.gonetoosoon.org/file/gift__91x91/574a10f2bf947087e3ddfb7d6c47b647/spizza.jpg "Dominoes Pizza! You practically lived there. even now when I order pizza from mum's house, they say "Joe Dante?" ♥")
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